Of Ann Coulter, Pearl Jam and free speech
May 15, 2003 ~ 10:55 a.m.
I cracked up on the train into work this morning. The perpetrator of my mirth was Ann Coulter via the April 23 issue of The Conservative Chronicle. And, unless you�re one of the pious�devoid of humor and tut-tutting with self-righteous disapproval� this ought meet your daily requirement of quality laughter:
�Weeks after the Dixie Chicks imploded, Pearl Jam singer Eddie Vedder showed he�s still got a way with words by repeatedly smashing a George W. Bush mask against the stage during a concert. Predictable heckling and booing broke out�robust even by Pearl Jam concert standards. Vedder asked in astonishment: �You�re booing the story, right? You�re not booing me?� Published claims that dozens of fans walked out at this point seem dubious, since that would require Pearl Jam�s fan base to still number in the dozens.
Vedder continued with a rambling diatribe against the free speech of his audience, during which he announced�in a worldwide exclusive�that next year Americans will no longer be allowed to speak. When someone yelled at him to shut up, Vedder shouted down the dissenters with a microphone and 50,000 amps, saying, �I don�t know if you heard about this thing called freedom of speech, man.� This qualified as one of the most profound public statements ever punctuated with the term �man.�
Soon, Vedder was backpedaling faster than a Dixie Chick: �Just to clarify � we support the troops.� To prove it, he cited his short haircut: �How could we not be for the military? I mean, look at this (expletive) haircut.� Vedder said his remarks had been �misconstrued.� The band issued a statement saying Vedder was just talking about �freedom of speech.�
As this excerpt from Coulter�s column speaks volumes on its own, I really don�t have to add anything. Except I will say that I�m glad I don�t own, and have never owned, a Pearl Jam (or Dixie Chicks) CD. I like to think that I wisely exercise my freedom of speech in that other hallowed shrine that liberals so often love to abuse while claiming it as their own exclusive territory� the marketplace. I�m feeling very good this morning knowing that folks like Coulter also have their right to free speech and use it, thereby ensuring that we�re not all held hostage to the likes of Eddie �Airhead� Vedder.
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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