From giant to twerp in ten seconds
December 03, 2002 ~ 12:57 p.m.
As I was headed through the gates at the South Kensington subway station this morning, I noticed two small figures ahead of me that I mistook at first glance for children. Only when I saw them from the side did I notice that they were, in fact, grown adults. The two little people seemed to be a couple � a man and a woman, both Far Eastern in appearance. I marveled at the cruel happenstances of nature whereby some people end up so tiny. For a minute, I could register only surprise.
Then, I will admit to a certain feeling of satisfaction. Being on the short side myself, I am no stranger to craning my neck to look some people in the eye. I�d say I stand taller than 25% of the population, 50% are around my height, and 25% are considerably bigger than me. But some people are so vertically enhanced they cause six-footers to gawk. You have to wonder if sex with inanimate objects is possible, because if so, these types of people appear to be half-telephone pole.
But conversely � and I am not unduly poking fun at the little couple (hell, I don�t know if they even could technically be considered dwarves) � you can�t help but wonder if that couple were the product of a human-hamster relationship. Not that I want to ponder the details of such a thing, but if so, trysts with lampposts or animals would explain some people�s physical appearances, height or otherwise.
Damn, though. You know you�re short when the turnstiles you�re passing through are nearly as tall as you are. They made me, creeping along behind them, feel like a creature out of Gulliver�s Travels.
However, as I passed through the barriers, I nearly walked into someone�s back � literally. A person whose father was very likely a grizzly bear loomed above me, and now I felt like the little couple must have when they saw me towering behind them. The guy was, in my quick estimation, 6-foot-8, which is a good foot taller than me. Now my thoughts had been reduced to a singularity: Gulp. This was one guy I had to watch my step around. I couldn�t even have reached his face, so my right hook would be rendered useless. If I socked him in the stomach, he wouldn�t even have felt it. Luckily, I managed to avoid him. I don�t think he even noticed me. Maybe I would have given him feelings of satisfaction. Like the giant freak-of-nature needed any, I�m sure.
Life sure does have its amusing, table-turning moments, does it not?
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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