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�Remembering� the never-ending train ride

March 10, 2004 ~ 1:58 p.m.

Damn it all, it happened again last night. Valium usually always does this to me.

Don�t get me wrong; it�s a wonderful drug. I took my usual, moderately strong dose just before going to the dentist yesterday afternoon; it always works a charm in helping me to handle the shots of anaesthetic and the drill.

It also makes me fall asleep on the train home. I can�t remember how many times I�ve woken up from my slumber to find myself five or more miles away from home than I intended to be.

I woke up at Norwood Junction yesterday evening, and as it was 20 minutes until the next train, I thought I�d escape the cold and hit the pub just across the street from the station. I had a nice double vodka and orange juice and finished reading the paper. I then looked at my watch and discovered that I should have left the pub several minutes earlier. I missed that train by a hair�s breadth of time �

Usually, my experiences with Valium have me getting off not too far from where I want to be, and, inconvenience though it may be, it�s never very serious.

The time I took some Lorazepam, a benzo related to Valium, was a different story. I popped a couple of those pills before leaving work a few months ago. I fell asleep on the train and didn�t get home until 1 a.m. Yes, you read that correctly: Caught my train home at 5:37 p.m.�and didn�t arrive home until one o�clock in the morning! I couldn�t have stayed on the same train all night. I must have at some point�or several points�gotten off and boarded another train/other trains.

I don�t recall anything from that night at all. It�s all a nearly complete blank. The only thing I do remember is being woken up by the conductor at nearly thirty minutes past midnight, telling me that we were at the last stop on the line and that there were no more train services. He gave me the time and I asked where I was.

It turns out I was in Surbiton, a good distance from home and, furthermore, on a completely different rail line to the one I use to travel home, which is why I strongly suspect that I must have changed trains, though I have no remembrance of it at all. I must have been in quite a stupor.

�How did I end up here?� I asked.

�Dunno, mate. Only you can answer that one,� the conductor said.

Scary thing: I couldn�t answer that one. I didn�t feel physically sick at all, but I was still very groggy and disoriented. The conductor probably reckoned I�d had too much to drink and fetched a cab for me.

Not that I was out of the woods. The cab ride home cost �26 (that�s $47!), and I had yet to explain this to the wife who was understandably frantic.

Lorazepam is a good drug. Too good. I suggest taking it if you expect to deal intimately with children, religious fundamentalists or Democrats. But if you�re due to go home at the end of a workday, take the edge off with a beer instead.


ADDENDUM (3/10/04, 7:49 p.m.): I realize that I should probably explain here that my supply of Valium is rather old, so the potency has probably worn off a bit, which is why I can take six to eight pills and, under any medical definition, be just fine aside from the sleepiness. The Lorazepam, however, was fresh and, like a fool, I�d taken four of the buggers. I don�t believe there�s much difference between diazepam (Valium) and lorazepam as both are close sister drugs. Just thought I�d stipulate that much.

� M.E.M.

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