�Friends� proves that change is uncomfortable, but inevitable
May 29, 2004 ~ 11:20 p.m.
I watched the last episode of Friends tonight. I know it aired in America weeks ago, but we�ve only just caught up here in Britain.
And I must say, I was moved. Just what is it about that sitcom that captured our affection?
First of all, television characters tend to supplant those people that we know in real life, or they mirror the people we like, only in better, more sophisticated or suave fashion� soi-disant characters with soi-disant lives. Problems arise for these characters, but are easily solved. We connect with their lives with every episode, every year, every season of the show�s run, because we wish we knew such suave people with such easily-solved problems.
The connection we felt for the show is hardly a new phenomenon. What happened with Friends is similar to what happened with Three�s Company, when Janet got married. I am old enough to remember that episode and its impact on the ratings. Three�s Company had always been a consistently successful show since its debut in 1977, but the wedding episode, which ended the show seven years later, captured the television-watching hearts of the nation. People actually wept over this�in happiness for Janet, in sorrow for the end of the show, and of the apartment that served as the scene for comic hijinks galore.
When the camera panned over the lonely apartment that served as lodging at one time for all the friends in Friends, the meaning was clear: The scene of a good chunk of our weekly laughter was now in a state of emptiness. The emptiness of their apartment echoed the emptiness we feel in our hearts to know we will never see it again. A place we have never known and have never stepped foot in left tears dropping from many eyes, simply because it hosted comic relief for a decade for many of us. (The lonely apartment tear-jerking technique was also used by the writers of Laverne and Shirley when the girls moved from Milwaukee to California.)
What it also marks though, just as with Three�s Company, is the eventual maturation of characters through time. It�s inevitable with comedy. They couldn�t even get away with change in All in the Family, because as surely as Archie Bunker would never change, the lives of his daughter and son-in-law would�and most of us could feel Archie�s heartbreak upon him walking into the house at the end of the series, calling �Meatball?�, only to hear no response in return. He felt lonely. We felt his loneliness, connected with it.
Everybody grows up, everybody matures, everybody moves on. Rarely is anything static in life because life changes so much. Even the politically liberal, who welcome change in the sphere of government, may not like it in their own lives. But the point that Friends so aptly drove home was that twentysomethings eventually turn into thirtysomethings. And thirtysomethings tend not to live in communes�they marry, they move, they may have kids, and they take on greater responsibilities.
And perhaps that is what was so painful�the characters whose lives we followed for ten years had grown up. They weren�t 24 anymore, like I was when the sitcom debuted in 1994. They were in their early to mid 30s. It was time to move on. And moving on can cause stress and be a source of pain.
I learned this on a grand scale at the age of 28 when I got married and moved to England to be with my wife. I didn�t think I could ever get over having left my home and neighborhood of the past 27 years. But now, I have come to think of this �flat� as home�and it is. And here�s the thing: My wife first moved here in 1994 when Friends was young and alive and purported to speak for Generation X.
And what really occurred to me is that, while the �friends� all left their apartment in these days of 2004, we continue to live here. There is no foreseeable change in living arrangements for us, at least not in the near future. My wife has enjoyed ten years in this apartment and will likely enjoy ten, if not more, years here. So will I.
We need to get over the end of Friends and just know that the characters will be happy. Ross got Rachel, finally. Chandler and Monica have a nice suburban house and twins. Phoebe�s married to Mike, and they will have a fulfilled life together. Joey will move to L.A. and get his acting career going full-speed ahead.
Change can be good. It all comes down to how we deal with it. For those that we see on television are not real. But, in a small, ethereal way, they do mirror our own lives, hence a part of the pain, but also part of the joy, of seeing Friends come to a close.
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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