Jingle bells or Jingo Brits?
December 16, 2002 ~ 11:56 p.m.
After a spate of Christmas shopping on Sunday � which the wife had to drag me out of the flat by my heels to do (�Well, OK, goddamnit, but could I put on a pair of pants first?�) � we went to a pub to warm up before waiting for the bus home.
We were seated just across from some particularly noisy people at the bar, and to say that they were obnoxious would be stating the just-too-obvious. Dick Gephardt has a greater chance of becoming President than these people do of being featured in Miss Manners. �all �oi!� and �eh!� And those were the good words.
I was in the midst of sharing a pleasantry with the wife when one guy across the way suddenly shouted, either at someone in the pub or at the TV, �Oi, you Teeside wanker! You Teeside bitch!� (Teeside is in the upper northeast of England, around Newcastle).
I also heard him or one of his mates make reference to a �fuckin� Aussie.� Sheesh. Such charm, eh? I didn�t dare raise my voice to the point where they could overhear me. The last thing I wanted was to end what I have to admit was a nice evening out only to be jeered by a lot of jingoistic drunks. (�Oi, get a load of the Yank o�er there!�)
The southern English have always had a bit of a superiority complex about themselves, much in the same manner as northern Americans, who can gloat about their economic might. But I never knew anyone in the Yankee territory (and I�m not referring to the New York baseball team) that is New England ever refer to Deep Southerners in the way that Londoners abuse northern English.
Last year, while working the night shift for the media company, one of the first-shift IT guys walked in. I told him about the latest (now defunct) ITV Digital ads starring Johnny Vegas. Of course, the IT dude didn�t call him Johnny Vegas. He just said, �Oh, you mean the adverts with the monkey and that northern git?�
I guess in the absence of Americans or Australians to pick on, the English tear themselves apart, starting with northerners. Northern English return the favor of course by referring to southerners as �nancies� and whatnot, but clearly that is just defensive tit-for-tat. Is it any wonder that Noel Gallagher recently told an audience in Brighton, �I hope you all die of hypothermia,� for daring to sing along to �Wonderwall�? Oh yeah, must have something to do with the fact that Oasis are from Manchester and don�t want to hear a load of Sussex accents ruining their masterpiece!
As we were on our way out, the men from across the bar were exchanging differences of opinion, to put it lightly, with some Liverpool fans.
I dunno � could it be that whenever some Brits talk about how dangerous American-style patriotism is that they are, essentially, full of crap? Or just full of lager?
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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