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�The nature argument clearly wasn't working ...�

April 13, 2003 ~ 3:01 a.m.

I met the Cappuccino Kid today, bouncing around the streets of my neighborhood on his merry way to take care of various errands on a mild April day, and he related to me a rather negative experience from his past:

"Now don't get me wrong, mate�I'll preface this by saying that I have nothing against 'alternative' lifestyles�but one time I was getting chased around by this bloke who was seriously hacked off by the fact that he couldn't 'have' me, yeah?"

I nodded, wondering just quite where this particular topic of conversation was leading.

"Well, don't you know, he faces me and says, 'If you have never done it with a man before, how do you know you won't like it?' Well, I replied to him�yeah?�that just as most people are not compelled to re-eat their regurgitations, they certainly are not likely to go against nature in choosing who they want to mate with, y'know?"

I nodded again.

"He couldn't accept that. Bloody hell, I'm standing there, taking in charges of intolerance that I have never felt true about myself, and listening to him rabbiting on about how there's no such thing as 'straight.' I told him that cats chase rats for a reason, but apparently, in the world he lives in, cats actually like rats but just don't realize it."

By this time, I wasn't just nodding but smirking in anticipatory wonderment.

"Yeah, well, the nature argument clearly wasn't working, so I had to resort to the obvious." He grinned.

"And what was the obvious, Doug?" I asked.

"Mate!" he exclaimed. "You ought to know bloody damn well what the obvious was. I looked him right in the eye�yeah?�and say, 'Well, if you've never done it with a woman, how do you know that you wouldn't like that?'"

Cap then looked at the sky as if he couldn't believe the color of it, and said, "And, do you know, he said, 'I have been out with a woman before, and they're all pigs.' Well, Christ Almighty, who's guilty of prejudice now?"

Once again, I stood in awe of just how far Cap will go in order to call injustices what they are, no matter how politically incorrect and call out the sacred cows of the politically correct. This was not an anti-gay rant; this was his subliminal way of pushing forward the idea that we need to accept differences in each other, as much for the Left as for the Right. It's only that, sometimes, Cap is just the sort of roguish character who cannot make his point without butchering tact in the process.

"And, don't you know, I told him, 'You assume that I don't like guys. Of course, I do. I just don't want to sleep with them. You live your life by your preferences, I'll live life by mine. Here, let me buy you a coffee,' but he just stormed off. Incredible, what?"

Yep. Incredible. Absolutely.

� M.E.M.

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