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Another whacked blast from the past

September 01, 2002 ~ 9:36 p.m.

As I would like to take a short break, I am submitting the following ten-year-old column for a laugh. Just who is the know-it-all, la-de-da leftist who wrote this piece of crap? I want to slap him silly. Oh yeah, �twas me (gulp, slap)! Just for fun, I break the column up and poke fun at myself along the way with inserted notes.

Meanwhile, keep watching this space; I won�t be on hiatus long.

Originally published by The Mass Media, Umass-Boston Student Weekly, March 10, 1992:

�I was reading Mikhail Gorbachev�s first article in The Boston Herald in which he proclaims that Stalinism is dead, �thank God,� but socialism lives on. I wish I�d paid more attention to this particular column, because it was quite interesting, but I was quite tipsy whilst reading it, so I don�t think I retained a lot. However, I think the general aim of the column was to say that the free market cannot exist by itself. Therefore, a certain amount of socialism has to exist to stabilize federal budgets and economic policies and procedures. I wonder if Gorby realizes how coincidental this may be because in this recession, people are asking if the free market can hope to exist upon its own entrepreneurship.

Nightdragon�s note: Snooze � what, huh?

�There was no mistaking the general paranoia spreading throughout the European continent over the American dominance in the last years of the First World War and our total manipulation of the �peace� treaties of Versailles. Wilson introduced his policy of self-determination to Europe, primarily the victorious allies, and then subsequently backed out, unwilling to take the burden of jumpstarting the economies of the European nations �

Nightdragon�s note: I should have hit the history books a little harder, methinks.

�� This Wilsonian doctrine of independency only fortified the nationalism among the individual nation-states. Wilson had undoubtedly hoped for economic stability within the geopolitical sphere of Europe and the colonies that pertained to them. He did not, as pessimists would conclude, intend a sort of piracy and squelching of the European nations for American benefits; we were not out to take advantage of our diplomacy. But in short, Wilsonianism resulted in Great Britain, France, Italy, Germany (who really got screwed) and the Balkan states having to devise their own economic plans of restructuring, to compromise with or contradict capitalism.

Nightdragon�s note: God, what an incoherent ramble! Was my writing honestly once this bad?

�This period introduced communist Bolshevism and nationalism and the Second World War era ushered in fascism. It seems that whether states were �evil,� such as fascism or communism, or �good,� such as capitalism and the free market, nobody had the answers to fiscal prosperity. Subsidies exist at all levels � how much does one allocate funds toward foreign aid and domestic affairs such as welfare and other important (or nerve-wracking) socio-economic proposals.

Nightdragon�s note: This column is frickin� nerve-wracking

�It should rely on a merger between the free market and socialism, right? Don�t ask. Not me, anyway. I�m no economist or politician, but it is something to think about -- can authoritarian socialism exist in tandem with liberal capitalism? (You know what I mean by �liberal� � the classical European view defended by American conservatism). Is this the answer for prosperity?

�Or would it result in a catastrophic stalemate?

�When Reagan decided not to make any moves toward solving the budget deficit in 1982, thus limiting government control, it was a full-fledged attack against socialist policy � old-fashioned conservatism �

Nightdragon�s note: WHAT??? That passage makes absolutely no sense. What in God�s name was I thinking? Yikes! I must have moved from drinking wine to smoking pot by this stage �

�� No wonder people joke about the �anarchist, Red Square attitudes� at Umass. We want the state to keep subsidizing us like the good ol� days of public higher education. Now we keep our tuition! Wilsonian independency strikes again! But it took the state to give us this independency.

Nightdragon�s note: I�m sure I was trying to be sarcastic here, but if not, it indicates the closeted conservative in me waiting to come out. What do you know, a bright side to this column.

�It�s no surprise that Mikhail Gorbachev decided to write on a subject he supports and is a virtual expert on, and neither is it surprising that it would be brought up in a time of capitalist recession.

�Thank you, Gorby!�

Nightdragon�s note: OMG, I feel ill.

� M.E.M.

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