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Libya, Cuba and Germany: Yep, three great nations that go great together

February 09, 2003 ~ 2:31 a.m.

�It just happens that Germany, Libya and Cuba are three of those countries that have declared themselves opposed,� This was what U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said to Congress on Wednesday. That was all he said. When the Germans got their swastika-embroidered knickers in a twist, Rumsfeld commented: �I can't imagine why this would cause a stir because it was those countries themselves that made the statement and the case of one country, Germany, ran a political campaign on it.�

Rumsfeld, as is his job, is taking into account all the countries and their positions, and determining who can be depended upon as bona fide allies. Gerhard Schroeder, the Little Chancellor That Could, has whipped his fellow Prussians into a frenzy over �Cowboy� Dubya and the �imperialist American war.�

Gee, isn�t it funny how the Jerries ruined the entire first half of the 20th century with their own imperialist ambitions�true imperialist ambitions as verified by any dictionary�s definition�and now accuse another nation of simply trying to disarm the biggest threat the world has known since � Adolf Hitler, wouldn�t you know it! My gosh, how guilt-ridden the they must indeed be.

Germany is unraveling at the thought that even France�its co-conspirator in the late 20th/early 21st century takeover of Europe�might join the U.S. effort in the war against Madass. (That�s Saddam spelled backwards with a slight alteration for those of you too busy having orgasms over him�with the posts of your anti-war protest signs stuck up your backsides, no doubt�to have noticed.)

Let�s not forget that Germany also refuses to co-operate in any plans to protect Turkey, a fellow NATO ally, in the event of a showdown with Iraq. Just goes to show you how little German attitudes towards its immigrants has changed. In the �30s, they determined that there were too many Jews. Now they�ve determined that they�ve got too many Turks. But obviously they can�t get away with concentration camps anymore, so let�s just let the Turks� mother country catch shit for their level-headed take on the Iraqi situation. Turkey is a blessing to world affairs; Germany is Chutzpah-ville.

Let�s face it�the Germans aren�t going to help out in any way, shape or form in ridding the world of terror. They�ve contributed enough terror of their own to last generations.

And don�t give me this bullshit about the Germans helping to keep the peace in the Balkans and Afghanistan. They are only there because of NATO commitments. If NATO was ever one day recognized for the anachronism that it is and dissolved, the Sour Krauts would keep no presence there at all.

Compared to Germany, France makes their own anti-Americanism seem like a parody. While France fiddles around with American sentiment like a cat playing with a mouse, it is Germany that actually moves in for the kill.

Chirac may be a Euro-whore, but at least he doesn�t pretend to be Gandhi like the vertically and mentally challenged Schroeder.

Winfried Nachtwei, a member of Schroeder�s Green party, called Rumsfeld's remark "out of line." Smoke some more Mother Nature while humping a tree, Herr Nachtwei. Rumsfeld was perfectly in line with his remark. If you want to make yourself an enemy of America, clearly your country�s intent, then you succeeded brilliantly.

Referring to France and especially Germany, Rumsfeld said in a press conference: "They are going to make up their own minds and they have. Germany certainly has. I would assume they would stick with it. I just don't know. I don't know what France will do," and went on to announce that the number of U.S. troops in Germany could be reduced.

Yes, please, Mr. Rumsfeld, get our boys out of there before they start warming up the ovens for us.

I have never been so grateful as I am right now to have never stepped foot in Germany and wasted my hard-earned money contributing to their economy. The wife and I can forget the much talked about trip to Cologne we�ve always wanted. I will never step foot in Germany. I really don�t want to be among a humorless people for whom there is no middle ground.

Instead, on Monday, the wife and I are off to Amsterdam. We are making it a point to visit the Anne Frank House. I am going to get on my knees and think very hard of what the Germans did to that poor girl and her family.

Donald Rumsfeld is a hero for his remarks and he should not even play them down, never mind retracting them.

� M.E.M.

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