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Only �French fries� for me, please

April 02, 2003 ~ 1:18 p.m.

After giving it much thought, debating the subject with myself�and Doug, a.k.a. the Cappuccino Kid�I�ve come around to seeing what preposterousness the re-naming of French fries to freedom fries really is.

Don�t get me wrong. I understand and sympathize with the sentiment that made possible this change of title. The anti-France mood in America is completely justified. Chirac and the 80 percent of the French populace that backs him has seen to the complete alienation that has defined Franco-American relations.

However, I did not change the title of the heavy yarn blanket that I use on cold nights from �afghan� to something else just after the ruling Taliban regime in Afghanistan was found to be responsible for the 9-11 tragedy. That�s what that particular type of quilt is known as. It does not go by any other name.

It also smacks of the anti-German fervor of the World War I era when the titles of products with �German� in them faced re-titling, a trend which didn�t last, and the closing down of Wisconsin breweries. It is possible to take things too far. Germany has been as antagonistic and obstinate as France has and Americans have every reason to resent them too, so why don�t we revive a little early 20th century history? Why single out just France and all products with �French� in them? And what of prissy little Belgium? Shall Belgian chocolates be renamed �bitchin� chocolates?� (I actually rather like that.)

I hadn�t seen Cap for quite a while, but I asked him what he thought about the whole �freedom fries� thing when I saw him on Monday. �Freedom fries?� he asked. �Tell me, where�s the freedom in being politically correct?�

And he hit the nail on the head. That really is what this whole movement is about. It�s about telling us, forget what you grew up calling them and what their name really is. We�ve decided that you will call them something else, to be less offensive. And if you refuse to use our new title, you will be chastised, humiliated and ostracized. That, folks, is the essence of the politically correct mantra that was forced on us. There is no difference between calling French fries �freedom fries,� calling black people the monumentally cumbersome �African-Americans,� or those with low intelligence (or liberals) �mentally challenged.�

What this whole �freedom fries� business is, when you come down to it, is political correctness from the conservative and/or patriotic. And that is just not right. It sours our well deserved reputation for true tolerance and freedom of speech. There should be no room for this sort of nonsense by those who ought to know better.

� M.E.M.

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