Englishwomen
December 24, 2003 ~ 7:36 a.m.
You�re standing in the kitchen, staring out the window, and laughing to yourself because you�ve had a bottle of wine and a joint, so you�re all silly. But you�re by yourself. It�s OK to be a little crazy on your own, every now and again �
You�re looking out the window and see bare trees swaying in the breeze, and you find this funny because you�re swaying too and you think the trees are mimicking you, so you laugh harder; but just a bit harder. You�re sure that you are alone and only you are aware of how loony you�re acting at the moment.
So you carry on with your solo celebration, your little party of one, and, man, you�ve earned the right to get bent. Work is finally over. The holiday is finally here. Hoorah.
So you celebrated in rather grand fashion and now you�re enjoying the peak. Nothing to worry about. The wife went to bed fifteen minutes ago.
Or so you think, because as you�re leaning against the counter, chuckling away to yourself, you hear�loud and clear: �The bathroom sink needs a good clean.�
And your first thought is not, But I cleaned it only three days ago, and it should be because you really did. You neither agree nor disagree with her about the sink. That�s not what�s important � what�s important is that she didn�t just say that; she completely deadpanned it � and that�s when you realize that she was clued in to your little trip across the cosmos the whole time; she heard you, all those giggles and nonsense mutterings. And suddenly your trip is over.
She doesn�t give anything away, but the comment about the sink was her way of saying, with such subtle grace, that she was there and she knew what you were up to�and she just dropped the hint.
This is what it�s like living with an Englishwoman.
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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