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Let the claret flow ...

October 06, 2002 ~ 1:45 a.m.

Is this a sick world or what?

Case in point: Phoenix radio disc jockey Beau Duran called up the widow of former Cardinals pitcher Darryl Kile, who died on the road with his team in a Chicago hotel room on June 22, and asked her if she had a date to the playoff game between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the St. Louis Cardinals on October 3.

Flynn Kile hung up the phone during the prank. Good for her. Of course, I would like to take it further. I would like to have seen her put a bullet through Duran�s head. I would have liked to see the blood spurt from Duran�s diseased brain.

Every disc jockey across America is so desperate to mimic the New York City based Howard Stern that they are scouring sewer tiles in an attempt to come up with original comic material. The problem? It�s not comical. It�s just downright degrading and sick as all-get-out.

Like those worthless, no-good-nicks Opie and Anthony, Beau Duran found his calling trying to please the lowest common denominator. Howard Stern became a star by pushing the boundaries governing radio during the 1980s. But he has never ploughed the depths to which some of today�s disc jockeys are doing in order to please early morning, grease-monkey motorists. Stern earned his fame through shock tactics, but never personally degrading pranks on real people. If this is what �shock jock� radio is coming to, then I weep for radio. I weep for the listeners. I weep more than anything else for freedom of speech.

Time to listen to the classical music stations. Of course, I wouldn�t at all be surprised if some upstart disc jockey on such a music station at Anywhere, U.S.A. called up the great-great-great granddaughter of Mozart in Salzburg and asked, �Heeeey, you�re live on the air with WGAG � so can you tell us, is it true that ol� Wolfgang was buried wearing a pair of his wife�s panties? Heeeeeey!�

It takes some incredible guts to get on the air, call up the wife of a dedicated but deceased family man and ask if she have a date at the ballpark to witness the showdown between the Diamondbacks and her husband�s former team. All the while, assuming that you have the backing of your station, of course. KUPD-FM was so shocked by Duran�s tactics that they suspended him for a week � a week! � and stated on their website that, �We are truly amazed on (sic) how this turned into a media circus and we regret the turmoil that it caused people all over the country.� Well, no shit! They�re amazed! We�d never have guessed. Thanks, I�m sure Mrs. Kile appreciates that. And by the way, it�s �amazed at,� not �amazed on,� you friggin� morons. Go smoke some more weed and blast Puddle of Mudd through your headphones, why don�t you?

It�s time the FCC came down hard on radio stations that let pieces of shit like Beau Duran run wild and come down hard.

Can I suggest bullets through heads as a possible solution to a perverse, idiot-ridden business? Please? And can I watch?

As the old-time boxing commentators used to say, �the claret has begun to flow.� And let�s hope the programming boards at radio stations across the U.S. get drenched.

� M.E.M.

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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.

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