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A Bronx cheer for the Bronx bombers

March 24, 2002 ~ 12:30 p.m.

As the 2002 baseball season is now nearly upon us, I'd like to kick it off with a little humor aimed at the world's most greedy team with the most narcissitic general-manager and most dumb-assed fans to be found anywhere.

Yes, it's the New York Yankees. Who else?

(1) What do you have if 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their necks in sand?

Not enough sand.

(2) What do you call a Yankees fan with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

(3) What do you do if two Yankees fans are drowning and you only have enough time to save one?

Go to lunch or read the paper?

(4) What would you do if you were trapped in a room with a Yankees fan, a tiger and a rattlesnake, and you had a gun with only two bullets?

Shoot the Yankees fan twice, just to make sure.

(5) If you see a dead Yankees fan and dead dog in the road, what else do you see?

Skid marks swerving away from the dog.



Seriously, there are some good teams to watch out for, and it's going to be an exciting season.

The Chicago Cubs, Texas, Los Angeles, Cleveland and perhaps even the New York Mets are all teams to look out for and take very seriously.

Arizona could very well make another run at defending its World Series Championship title.

Seattle will dominate the standings and the loss of Jason Giambi to Oakland may prove minimal.

San Diego, Boston, Toronto and the Chicago White Sox are all young teams in the process of rebuilding and with potential power.

Minnesota can hopefully find a way to extend success beyond the first half of the season, instead of fizzling out as they did last year.

For the poor, suffering fans of Milwaukee, Pittsburgh and Kansas City, nothing is likely to change.

As for the Yankees themselves, they no doubt will be putting a very good team out on the field. No-one should be left with any doubts that we are looking at New York making the playoffs. But, maybe this time, the Yanks will meet their match in the divisional series and make an early exit, stage right. Time to lay this team flat on the canvas.

God bless America; but God damn the Yankees.

� M.E.M.

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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.

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