"It's not the perks; it's the politics"
January 03, 2002 ~ 9:17 p.m.
OK, kiddies�as promised earlier today, here�s my first foray into the netherworld of commentary, presented for your reading enjoyment. Even in those days, I had a satirical approach to politics bordering on the compulsive. Of course, that�s how I hid my disgust and frustration, behind a curtain of satire. Much like today, in fact, only I�m older and wiser. Or so I�d like to believe. I still get pissed off. But I�ve come a long way (baby), since this particular piece of hack student journalism.
I wrote the following piece during the height of the 1992 Presidential spring primaries. Some of you may remember it like I do. For all you young �uns, this will serve as an interesting history lesson. Just don�t tell your teacher where you learned it first!
So without further adieu ...:
It�s not the perks; it�s the politics
Originally published by The Mass Media, UMass-Boston, April 7, 1992
"So, roughly 81 percent of all members of Congress have bounced checks several times while in their respective offices. That�s news? The abuse of a perk may not look complimentary to the senators, but it should be common sense to the voters. In essence, it will just add to voter apathy and disapproval. The democracies of Europe � these days, Western and Eastern alike � exist with multiparty political systems still intact. These nations don�t usually get the chance to absorb much scandal � the establishment of free republics is an ever-evolving procedure overseas, but voters there feel they have the chance to construct the liberties in their favor, because they have a whole array of sides from which to choose to construct them from.But in a two-party system such as the United States, liberty and the pursuit of happiness has given way to political corruption and dubious scandal. The ball may still be in the GOP�s court, but does anybody really care? VOTE FOR GEORGE BUSH OR VOTE FOR CHANGE! Some choice! I�d like to advise ol� George not to act so laidback and smug and come to the realization that the only reason he�s pulling in the impressive GOP, and, I daresay, overall votes is because people are afraid, or more likely, unsure of said change.
So, do you think that Paul Tsongas pulled out of contention at a bad time or what? Tsongas was reluctant to fully state the condition of his monetary funds at the time of his withdrawal, because if he conceded that it was due to a distinct lack of such funds, people would have tended to think it had something to do with the collapse of the House Bank. The hell they speak!
Now this leaves us with only Clinton and that guy from sunny California � what�s-his-face � Brown, Jerry Brown. I�m not even going to try to analyze the contest between these two. Clinton will spend a great deal of his election campaign continuing to deny rumor after rumor and as for Brown � well, let�s just say there�s something about the phrase �former California governor� that worries me, and I would guess that I am not alone. Not that California�s strict environmental laws shouldn�t be lauded. Like the rest of us, the planet is facing tough times � even George has noticed, by passing a bill that will eliminate all CFCs by 1995. (By the way, if you don�t know what CFCs are, you�re in tough shape. Hit the books!) It�s certainly better than listening to conservatives yell about how environmental awareness is nothing but a farce, an �image thing,� and an attempt to sway young people toward the left wing.
Typical excerpt from a conversation with a conservative forty years from now: �You know, I never worried about all that nuclear waste at the bottom of coastal harbors because � they wasn�t on land. Heh, heh, heh! Besides, I don�t eat no lobster, anyhow!� But, to get back on track, the constant political corruptions that we read about in the papers every day is what made the California State House famous (or Beacon Hill is a damn close second to this testimony), and it spread like the you-know-what virus.
The aforementioned collapse of the House Bank will present a mighty obstinate challenge to senatorial and presidential candidates alike. Look at Jerry Brown, for instance. What makes him think he can keep it going? With the �Arkansas Clipper� leading him by a good mile-and-a-half, what could possibly drill into his head the possibility of catching up? Do I suggest yet another scandal in the making here? Yes, sirree. Purely hypothetical, of course, but imagine this:
�Senator, my amphetamines! I�ve used them all up already. You gotta get me more!�
�What can I do, Jerry? You know the Bank�s been shut down, and I�m fighting to keep my seat as it is. You picked me at a bad time.�
�Th� hell with your seat. Hell, I�ll make you my vice president, just gimme the cashola, quick! By the way, am I still in the lead?�
Now that�s front page news for a future paper, eh? We all knew there had to be something holding ol� Jerry up all this time! And Defense Secretary Dick Cheney � let�s imagine him standing up at the podium before the Feds at the White House claiming, �All those bad checks? Well, how was I to know they would bounce? It wasn�t for personal matters � The money, you ask? It was for the Israeli loan guarantees.�
Yeah, that�s it! Ever since you were in the House, Dick? Really! I didn�t know Israel was pressing for them loan guarantees for that long!
Oh, well, given the current rapidly decaying political structure in America, it is almost doubtless Cheney could get away with that horsecrap. A two-party system for the better part of two centuries has only brought us down. Politicians can stuff us with all the counterrevolutionary propaganda they want. Their lies, their corruptions, their disgraces can only figure into a �lesser of two evils� where races are concerned. Races, nothing! The entire two-party system is nothing but a lesser-of-two-evils debate. Like Stalin to the allies fifty years ago, the Democrats are crying in vain for the establishment of a strong front to be set up to counterattack the GOP onslaught. And like the Allies, the Democratic Committee is unable to set up such a front. You know it doesn�t look good for the Dems when their frontrunner gained his fame through numerous scandals, and the rest of their contestants are dropping like mosquitoes on a frosty September night. And as for the Republicans, it is more of a blind sort of infallibility rather than an overwhelming cast of confidence. So George will keep his job in the White House not out of faith but out of sheer disillusionment and across-the-board cancellations of undesirables by voters. George will win by forfeit.
Neither party of the current two-party system has successfully addressed the concerns of its voter constituents. And such is the bilateral political operation of America!"
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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