Out with the old ...
January 01, 2002 ~ 1:37 a.m.
BOSTON, MA�What a year it�s been. I learned so much this year, about the world and myself, that it�s a bit overwhelming. But a year makes such a good case study for this thing called life. Twelve months, or fifty-two weeks, if you prefer, is sufficient enough time to make observations about where you�ve been and where you�re headed.
It had been a pretty rough start to the year for me, due to personal problems that actually forced me to come back to Boston for two months (February to April). Despite a nice romantic getaway to Barcelona, Spain in January, and a fun Valentines� Day spent hopping around London, the wife and I separated for two months. I needed the time home to clear my head and try to get a grip on the dark emotions that were haunting me. Things were that serious.
Almost as soon as I arrived home, a blizzard hit the area and dumped almost two feet of snow on us. I made some good money helping my brother-in-law plow it, though. I got a temp job at Harvard Business School, and spent my evenings absorbed by Celtics basketball games on the television (they were battling for a playoff spot), and mopping up floodwater in the basement from monsoon-like rainstorms that plagued Boston all month long. Meanwhile, my soul-searching ended and I booked a flight back to London.
April arrived, bringing with it milder temperatures, sunnier days�and my wife. She spent Easter week with my family, and once the holiday was over, I flew back to London with her. We stopped off in Dublin, Ireland for a connecting flight to London, and we were treated to awesome views of the city and the surrounding Irish countryside.
May was, in a word, tranquil. I was busy looking for work and managed to land an interview with an institution called The Institute of Physics. I aced my interview and got the job. My starting date was June 4, and so comforted by the fact that I had secured a job, I enjoyed the rest of the month. London not only warmed up that month, but it got downright hot. It was gorgeous. I received a tan that month that still has yet to disappear.
I started work in June, as scheduled, but quickly became dissatisfied with the job. I saw certain aspects about it that I failed to notice during my interview and training. I believe I had fun despite my poor experience at the Institute of Physics simply because it was summer. The heat made each day worth getting up for. During this same time period, we went back to Barcelona, this time with my mom-in-law in tow, and spent four days there. Suffice to say, it was a rush. It could not have been a better vacation, and I spent most of July writing a 32-page journal about our experiences there.
I had quit the job by August, but quickly landed another job interview. It was for the company I currently work for, so needless to say, I got that job. I enjoy(ed) this job much better. Feeling celebratory, I went back to Boston for two weeks�this time, just for a simple vacation, to enjoy the sticky Massachusetts summer and the company of family and friends.
I returned to London in September to begin my new job. I had one week of training to do, during the day shift, before I could work nights. On the 11th, the system crashed, so they sent me home. I arrived home around two-thirty in the afternoon, which was 9 :30 a.m. New York time. Normally, I don�t watch TV, so I started washing the dishes while listening to music. The phone rang, so I ran to the living room, and it was my wife on the line.
�Hon, did you know two planes have crashed into the World Trade Center in New York, and a third plane has hit the Pentagon?� At first, I thought it was the prelude to some horrible joke.
�Don�t kid around like that, it�s sick,� I told her.
�Turn on the news! I�m not kidding around,� was her reply. So I turned on the TV, just in time to see the second tower collapse. I remained there in front of the TV in a speechless state of shock for the rest of the day. I was oblivious to everything. My head spun and I had a crazy ringing in my ears. I don�t even remember when my wife got home from work or what she first said to me upon doing so. I don�t remember a thing but the fright�the sheer, overpowering fright I felt. Fright that soon turned to sadness�and pure-blind anger. The following day, I reported to work and everybody asked how I was. I said that no-one in my family had been hurt but that I hoped revenge on those responsible would be swift and severe. They all nodded with respect. One member of the night shift was just leaving, but stuck around long enough to talk about how horrible the attack had been, how unfathomable the hatred that drove the terrorists was, and how much he would love to see the Americans get their revenge. And so I met my co-worker Peter for the first time. I knew right there and then, we�d get along fine. To this day, we remain not so much colleagues as friends. I know that even if I were to leave the job, I�d still stay in touch with him.
October passed by pretty uneventfully. It was the mildest October on record for London, and not once that month did we have a frost. I just kept in touch with the news and worked at my job. Then, around mid-month, on a warm, humid evening, I started this diary, and Nightdragon was hatched from his shell.
In November, the cold and frosts finally settled in, the trees turned color and eventually lost their leaves, and the days grew shorter�and at this stage I could see that the year had come full-circle. It�s been a trying autumn. The combination of a new job, the terrorist attack and ensuing war, still-lingering homesickness and the oncoming winter drove me a bit into isolation at times and some of the dark, brooding moods which afflicted me at the beginning of the year returned full force. I would binge drink on the weekends and depended on Valium to face certain days. The scariest part was that I didn�t even quite know what was wrong with me. Not even the onset of winter could have me this upset. As I say, it was probably just a combination of worries and stress.
But I�ll be fine, and I know it. I ran away to escape those moods to begin the year, but at year�s end, I refuse to run. I will stand and fight. I will continue with my writing, my job, my marriage, all the while finding ways to better improve and respect myself. During 2001, I cracked easily under the weight of resentment and anger at things that shouldn�t have even bothered me. But if the past year threw challenges at me and threw me into a personal crisis from time to time, at least I can say I survived intact. And I did. I don�t let anyone else mess with me, so why should I give that sort of liberty to my emotions?
It is now 2002, and I am warm with champagne and central heating, and feeling confident. I�m glad it�s a new year and I look forward to the challenges this year will throw at me. I know it will, they always do, these new years. There will be more trips, more warm summer days, more people to meet and greet, more love to consummate, more stories to tell, and more dreams to chase. And I�ll be around to do every bit of that.
Welcome 2002, and Happy New Year!
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
AMERICA FOR TRUE AMERICANS!