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The asinine world of advertisements

October 15, 2001 ~ 11:31 a.m.

I recently started work at a media agency. I work in the television advertising department, monitoring commericals. I have to classify them according to company, product type, brand, etc. I won't bore you with the details�because bored you will indeed be.

Suffice to say, advertisements being the corny things they are, it is sometimes amusing work. Commercials seem to exist in a universe of their own making, a soi-disant real world, which is anything but real.

Perfect example: A toilet paper ad has a lady bounding into a room, announcing "did you know that inside every roll of (brand name) could be a �50 note?" While it would certainly make my day to suddenly find myself 50 pounds (that's $83) richer than before I unzipped my fly to take a whizz, that's not normally what I think about when it comes to toilet paper. In fact, it is a product that usually encompasses just one means to an end, as far as I'm concerned (forgive the pun!).

Here's another one: Ever notice how most supermarket commercials show smiling staff who always greet you with a perky "Hi! How are you?" Again, the so-called real world. In the real world I know, I could be forgiven for thinking that supermarket staff have never even heard of the word "hello," never mind actually saying it. Now I've worked in supermarkets, so I know that they are people like anyone else. They don't always love their job. But shouldn't there be truth in advertising? If I go up the street to the supermarket that I saw advertised on television where a pretty young cashier with a radiant smile implores the customer to have a good day, and all I get for my patronage is a barely audible grunt by someone in bad need of acne medication instead, couldn't it be argued that I was misled?

On the one hand, advertisers probably know that we're too smart to think that the universe in which they operate actually exists, so they have no fear. So why, pray tell, do they present us with a world in which everyone seems to wear rose-colored glasses? Drop the fake world, and give us the existence we're used to. It's not always nice, but at least it's genuine.

Sugary foods aren't the only things that are sickeningly sweet. I work in advertising, so I can tell you.

� M.E.M.

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