We shall overcome
July 14, 2006 ~ 7:51 p.m.
You may have read, on my wife's weblog, about the impending breakup of our marriage.
Don't believe the hype.
Squirrel is going through that special time of the month, dear friends, so she's extra sensitive and, I feel, has exaggerated the situation quite a bit. Not that she doesn't have valid grievances: Last week I gave her a dirty look for what I felt was too much talk in my ear, and last night, as if to add insult to injury, I was sarcastic with her. What I said really stung, and I never should have mouthed off like that.
I tend to be a crotchety dragon, one who is pretty much an emotional cripple, so I have to learn to show more affection. After nearly eight years of marriage, I still have yet to learn what it really means to be a husband. It's true that I really do like my own company too much and that I can be fierce when I feel it's been impinged upon.
You may also wish to acknoweldge the fact that I'm pretty difficult to get to know well. Even my wife of more than seven years has not gotten past all my barriers. I have not allowed her to, because I find it just too challenging.
But to say that I only moved 3,000 miles away from what I knew and loved just for the sake of an apartment? Please. You don't overcome agonizing homesickness for the sake of someone else if you genuinely don't feel anything for them. What she forgets is that I went back to Boston - twice. And I came back each time. Finally, in late 2000, I determined to give it a go. I'm still here.
Why on earth would I have come back, battled through the severe depression of homesickness and put myself through culture shock if not for her? If it was for the apartment, I could easily have decided it wasn't worth the fight.
She ought to know damn well who�and not what�I stayed here and fought for.
Squirrel is largely correct in her assessment of me. I don't really begrudge her that, although I consider the "apartment accusation" to be a cheap shot.
We're talking things through and making it work. I want to learn to be a better, more attentive husband. She'll help me to learn. I never claimed to be easy to live with, but I can work on the parts of my personality that really rub her the wrong way.
And come October, we will be celebrating eight years of matrimony. I didn't come this far to see my relationship with a woman I care a lot about end for reasons that could so easily be smoothed out.
Don't be alarmed. We will overcome this.
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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