A stereotypical treatise on international friendliness
November 07, 2003 ~ 5:21 p.m.
Bonus second entry of the day:
A question circled around the office today�more like a topic of conversation�and it was this:
Who�s the friendliest: Americans, English, Irish or Australians?
No-one could come to a consensus on the subject. That�s understandable: It�s one of those questions, I think, that relies on stereotypes. If I had to list them in order, my choice would probably be:
1. Australians
2. Irish
3. Americans
4. English
Yep, you Brits come dead last, sorry to say. But more on that soon.
As for Americans, they can�t be the top friendliest anymore because they�re more insulated these days. I think, as it dawns on more people throughout the U.S.�those that actually bother to look beyond the U.S., that is�they will find world opinion of their country and their countrymen is at an all-time low. Completely without merit, of course, but there you are. Americans can take only so many hits before their vivaciousness turns to vituperance. However, Yanks remain very talkative people, always willing to shake your hand and find out more about you. Even if, admittedly, they do ask rather mind-numbingly dumb-ass questions, but I blame the Amerikan publick skule system for that. Poor bastards can�t help it if they had a poor education, now can they? Even though they were not mentioned, you can lump some Canadians in with the Americans.
(I�ve got to say, at this point, that the wife and I went to a pub during lunchtime today, and the most helpful�almost bordering on subservient�member of staff was an American. Her customer service skills were outstanding. And I intend to speak to the manager of that very pub to recommend that when she goes back to the States in six months� time, she be given a gold star on her resume! )
The Irish have always been a fun lot, mostly due to drink of course (and, of course, when are the micks ever sober?) Assuming they don�t want to send you flying through a wall with one punch, they will buy you drinks and teach you songs and blow your mind with their exceptional story-telling talents. Some of the best literature produced in the English language was written by the Irish, and it�s not at all hard to see why. Seriously, most Irish are really on-the-level, approachable and fair-minded, so they deserve to be second.
Australians are a bit like the Irish�boisterous and full of stories and bravado. They�ll slap you across the shoulderblades, talk from the sides of their mouths, and chat in your ear over almost any topic conceivable�and some that you didn't think were conceivable. In my opinion, the Aussies get top marks for friendliest people (even though some Brits may not agree with that assessment).
The English are the unfriendliest. That isn�t to say they aren�t polite. That they are. You don�t notice that too much in London, but it�s a big, busy city mayored by a Stalinist; no wonder. But they�re also full of reticence and reserve and a sense that if something�s not done this, the great British, way, then it�ll be done wrong�no ands, ifs or buts about it. High-mindedness is the opiate of the Limeys. You can talk to them, but most topics of conversation start off with discouraging phrases such as �Well, I�m afraid that ...,� �Sorry to say this, but ...,� �I�m not entirely sure, but ...� Talk to almost any English person, and you�ll feel like slipping Prozac in their drink.
But hey, this is a good country for me to live in. I say this because I�ve never been the stereotypical American. I�ve never come right out and shook anybody�s hand, I don�t like talking about myself to other people, I�m guarded, pessimistic and cynical. If it wasn�t for my accent, I�d pass for a Brit all too easily.
Have a great weekend all, and if you took umbrage at anything I�ve written here, I have some advice for you�lighten up. Political correctness is so out of vogue.
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
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