Who says I ain�t got a sense of humor?
October 10, 2002 ~ 2:29 p.m.
The following was sent to me by a former co-worker. And it�s great:
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN last month.The only question asked was:
�Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?�
The survey was a huge failure:
� In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
� In Eastern Europe they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
� In Western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
� In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
� In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
� In Australia they didn't know what 'please' meant.
� And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
OK, notice that other nationalities are getting made fun of as well, which completely balances the anti-American bit. And although, like most jokes aimed at Americans, it hashes up a crude stereotype, in the context of the joke, it comes off rather funny. And it involves actual humor � some people I have the misfortune of knowing would argue that it�s not humorous enough because it doesn�t call Americans �ignorant fucking retards� or involves a suggestion to assassinate our President, but hey � you can�t have everything.
One of the ways I love to confound people is to present an image to them that is totally foreign to how I actually feel � and then smash their pre-conceived notions about me to smithereens.
A very good case in point: Near the Kensington area where I work, there are the odd group of anti-war types who often single me out because I have long hair and a goatee. Yes, I�ve got the hippie look. When they ask me to sign a petition to arraign Bush on a UN War Crimes Tribunal or whatever the hell they want, I growl �fuck off� at them and keep walking.
The looks on their faces are always classic. It is not necessarily the shock of being told to go fuck themselves that roughs them up, but having been shouted at by someone who looks as if he�d be on their side, but in reality couldn�t possibly support Bush and the American government in its War on Terror more is too much for them. They just ogle dumb-founded at me as I continue on my way.
So why don�t I just change my look? Well, I don�t wear earrings or tie-dyes, and I just like having long hair. It suits me. And then I wouldn�t have the chance to totally upset people when they find out the truth about me. I need some spice to my day and makes it memorable � and those memories help me to laugh myself to sleep every night.
� M.E.M.
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Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.
AMERICA FOR TRUE AMERICANS!