current | archives | profile | notes | contact | rings | host




Cleaning out my closet

January 07, 2004 ~ 6:01 p.m.

Now then, I tried to avoid commenting on this. Honestly, I resisted for as long as I could. But I�m not holding back any longer. The longer I thought about it, the more pissed off I got.

First, my wife gets accused of racism by a raging leftie. Now I stand accused of homophobia.

When I contacted the diarist in question, trying to patch things up in genteel fashion despite our disagreement over the subject of gay marriage, he wrote this in response (on his page):

�I have this proclamation to make because I�m pretty irritated. If any of you read my diary and do not agree that all people should have the same rights (namely, that gay people should have the same rights as straight people), please stay the fuck away from me and don�t list me as your favorite. I don�t want to associate with people who are bigots. It was very sad for me to realize that I was indeed connected to ignorant folks who think of me as some genetic freak. Question: if you think gay people are such devian(t)s, why even read my diary? Why list me as a favorite in the first place if you�re just going to sit and think that you�re above me? Very disturbing realization, but I will not stand for it.�

He�s pretty irritated? Make no mistake about it, the �ignorant folks� and �bigots� to which he refers is actually only me. No plural involved. And what�s more, there is not one single shred of truth to it.

You see, dear reader, I am so disgustingly homophobic that I took a talk-show host to task for what was true anti-gay sentiment, and sent all sorts of U.K. immigration information�with special emphasis on gay civil union statutes�to a homosexual Australian friend of mine so that he could live in this country with his British partner. Yep, the evidence here clearly points to a real ignorant and bigoted hatred of gays on my part.

It is a measure of just how immature some people are when friendships are destroyed simply because of a disagreement. Honestly. Now I�m not going to be friends with an Islamofascist who wants nothing more than to see my Western ass dead; nor will I befriend a neo-Nazi or any truly repugnant piece of prejudiced work. But when you disagree on a matter of social policy, is it really fitting to nullify a friendship as a result?

Certain groups�and the people that belong to them�are so militant that they will not tolerate dissention of any sort whatsoever. Feminists changed the issue of women�s rights from voting and equal pay for equal work to �whatever a man can do, we can do just as well if not better.� The loonies of PETA have corrupted an otherwise respectable movement�the rights animals should have to be treated humanely�denying it respect by engaging in tactics designed to make the average citizen amused or disgusted but certainly not sympathetic. The same goes for Greenpeace with regard to the environment. Ultra-religious fruitcakes ensure that faith in God will always be seen as the reserve of the uncompromising, pious fundamentalist. And gay liberation has suddenly become more about antagonizing the mainstream instead of living bash-free lives and gaining social acceptance.

I am a traditionalist on marriage, not because I�m bigoted but because marriage will always be the union of man and woman. I cannot see marriage any other way. Heterosexual marriage always has been, and should remain, the backbone of society.

Does this mean that I sit and think I�m above homosexuals? Only one possessed of a militant mindset could arrive at that conclusion. And it�s not as if I can�t share the frustration that some members may not approve of their sex lives, because, dear reader, this dragon of the night is BISEXUAL! You may not have known that, but now you do�I�ve simply never felt the need to mention it until now, though I�ve been a member of the bisexual and bi-and-married diaryrings for a while. (Incidentally, for the sake of the curious: Aside from the very occasional light playing around when I was younger, I have not had a homosexual experience, nor, as I�m married, do I ever intend to.)

In 2001, when a friend of mine from Melbourne, Australia wanted to move to Bristol, England to be with the love of his life, I was very complicit in helping him to get into this country by supplying him with as much immigration information as I could. U.K. law allowed for homosexual immigration for civil union purposes. This is the proof I offer that I have never been opposed to civil unions for gay couples with rights comparable to those that heterosexual couples enjoy.

Just don�t call it marriage. Marriage is one thing, and one thing only: A man and woman united in the bond of (holy) matrimony. I will not change my mind about this definition of marriage. Not everyone gets to be a millionaire baseball player. Lots of citizens will never get to be president (including one by the name of Dr. Dean). A woman will never come first place in a marathon in which men also participate. Lots of people don�t get to do lots of things. Life isn�t fair. Get used to it.

Perhaps the most galling aspect of this whole quarrel, for me, is the implication that I haven�t felt marginalized or put down by society for the fantasies and desires I�ve had since my sexual awakening. I�ve known since my mid-teens that I was attracted to men as well as women, though I didn�t admit it to myself until I was well into my 20s, and didn�t admit it to others, including my wife, until last year at the ripe age of 33. I, too, have struggled with my identity and self-acceptance.

So, fuck you, buddy: Don�t tell me that I have no idea what you�ve gone through yourself. I�m sure I have some very empathetic ideas. In order to think of you as �some genetic freak,� I would have to feel the same about myself. Well, I don�t!

No, my crime of the century was to dare to agree with the hetero community and most churches on the subject of marriage. To my ex-friend, this is the moral equivalent of seeing him and his boyfriend walking hand-in-hand through the park and going after them with a baseball bat.

It doesn�t matter to him one bit how I had to come to terms with my sexuality, the price I may pay for coming out of the closet as a bisexual�when you�re bi, that means everyone thinks you�re a pervert�and how I support civil unions for queers and how gay-friendly a person I really am. No, that doesn�t matter to a militant like him who expects their friends, if they are to have any friends, to tow the line on every single matter.

So if you want to loathe my partly faggot ass, then no skin off my nose, bucko. You took it upon yourself to assume too much about me that wasn�t true. And now I�m telling like it really is.

� M.E.M.

[Sign My Guestbook] [View My Guestbook]
Powered by E-Guestbooks Server.

Copyright � 2001-2007 by M.E. Manning. All material is written by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise by use of footnotes or bylines. Do not copy or redistribute without my permission.

Old Cinders | Fresh Fire

AMERICA FOR TRUE AMERICANS!

-